By Bayo Olanlege
There is a dangerous misunderstanding of mentorship in our society, and perhaps even more so within the Nigerian football ecosystem.
Too often, mentorship is confused with loyalty. Loyalty is then confused with obedience. Obedience gradually becomes sycophancy, until a mentee begins to believe that disagreeing with his mentor amounts to disrespect.
It should not be so, as a genuine mentor does not need his ass kissed.
He does not need a mentee who agrees with everything he says, laughs at every joke, fights everyone he fights, supports every decision he makes, or spends the rest of his career reminding the world who “made” him.
The real reward of mentorship is much simpler: To see the mentee succeed—and, ideally, eventually become better than the mentor.
THERE IS NO PERFECT MENTOR
I am increasingly convinced that there is really nothing like a completely “good mentor” or a completely “bad mentor.” They are simply people with experiences, knowledge, relationships, strengths, weaknesses, and values from which another person can learn. A mentor can only give what he has.
If he has technical knowledge, he can transfer technical knowledge. If he has administrative experience, he can teach administration. If he understands football politics, he can explain football politics in a way that makes it easier to navigate. If he understands scouting, coaching, marketing, governance, or player management, those are the areas in which he can add value.
But a mentor cannot transfer knowledge he does not possess. That is why mentorship should never become worship.
A young football administrator, coach, referee, player, or club owner should be free to learn from several people. One person may teach you football administration; another may teach you commercialisation; another may expose you to international football; another may teach you what not to do.
All of them may have contributed to your development. Wisdom lies in knowing what to collect from each person.
YOU CAN ONLY GIVE WHAT YOU HAVE
This principle is particularly important in Nigerian football. Our football ecosystem has produced generations of players, coaches, and administrators who learned from those before them. But every generation must eventually improve upon what it inherited.
Consider the relationship between generations of the Super Eagles. Clemens Westerhof’s Nigerian era helped develop and provide opportunities for players who subsequently became major personalities in Nigerian football. Sunday Oliseh, for example, was brought into the national-team environment under Westerhof and developed into one of Nigeria’s outstanding midfielders. Stephen Keshi provides an even more interesting example. Keshi was not merely an influential captain. Younger players subsequently spoke about the leadership, discipline, and professionalism they saw in him. Oliseh has described Keshi as someone who led by example, while Ahmed Musa later described Keshi, his national-team coach, as a father figure who encouraged and advised his players. That is mentorship.
But importantly, those who learned from Keshi did not have to become another Stephen Keshi. They had to become better versions of themselves.
A MENTEE IS NOT A SERVANT
This distinction is badly needed in Nigerian football administration. Sometimes when a senior administrator assists a younger administrator into a position, an unwritten lifelong contract appears to follow: “I put you there; therefore, you must remain loyal to me.”
That is not mentorship but mere patronage. A mentor may open a door, recommend a mentee, introduce the mentee to important people, or give him his first significant responsibility. The mentee should remember and appreciate those interventions. Gratitude and respect matter, but gratitude must not become permanent surrender of independent thought.
If I mentor you properly and you eventually occupy an office bigger than mine, you should not require my permission before making every decision. If I trained you well, you should eventually be able to disagree with me. In fact, your ability to stand independently should be evidence that the mentorship worked.
NIGERIAN FOOTBALL ALREADY SHOWS US THE VALUE
There are encouraging examples of deliberate mentorship within our football system.
In 2024, the NPFL appointed former internationals Yakubu Aiyegbeni, Seyi Olofinjana, Austin Eguavoen and Patrick Pascal as mentors and ambassadors for players participating in the NPFL Youth League. The stated objective was straightforward: experienced football personalities using what they had learnt to nurture another generation. That is exactly what football development should look like.
Nigeria also increasingly recognises that knowledge transfer cannot depend solely on informal relationships. The NFF has expanded coaching education and capacity-building programmes, while recent programmes for women football administrators have deliberately brought experienced practitioners and technical experts together with developing administrators. That is institutional mentorship. And institutional mentorship may ultimately be healthier than the personality-driven mentorship that is common in our football.
THE LUCKIEST MENTEES ARE THOSE WHO DON’T HAVE TO KISS ASS
A mentee who can tell his mentor, respectfully, “Sir, I disagree” and still retain the relationship is fortunate.
A mentee who can become more successful than his mentor without creating jealousy is fortunate.
A mentee who can build relationships outside his mentor’s circle without being accused of betrayal is fortunate.
A mentee who can contest against someone preferred by his mentor and still receive his mentor’s blessings is extremely fortunate.
Those are signs of healthy mentorship; the opposite is mentorship built around fear.
If your continued access to your mentor depends upon permanent agreement, then you may not have a mentor. You may have a political godfather, and there is a significant difference between the two.
THE JOY SHOULD BE IN SEEING THEM SUCCEED
Every genuine mentor should eventually experience a beautiful inconvenience: Your mentee no longer needs you. He can make his own calls, and he has built his own network.
People now seek his opinion, and he sits at tables you once introduced him to. Eventually, he may sit at tables you have never reached. That should not threaten you, but should fulfill you.
The teacher should be proud when the student becomes a professor, just as a coach should celebrate when his former player becomes an accomplished coach.
The football administrator should be delighted when the young administrator he once guided becomes a chairman, CEO, federation president, CAF official, or FIFA administrator. That is legacy.
Legacy is not measured by how many people still bow when you enter a room. It is measured by how many people became stronger because you once occupied that room.
MENTORSHIP MUST ALSO ALLOW DISAGREEMENT
The history of Nigerian football itself demonstrates that mentorship or earlier influence does not guarantee permanent agreement. Keshi once publicly referred to Oliseh as someone he had treated as a younger brother and whom he later helped make captain. Yet the two men subsequently disagreed publicly over football matters. Whatever one’s view of that particular disagreement, there is a broader lesson.
People grow, and perspectives change as mentees acquire their own experiences. Today’s student may tomorrow possess information his teacher never had access to.
Therefore, disagreement should not automatically be interpreted as disrespect. Sometimes disagreement is evidence that the mentee has finally learned to think.
THE MENTOR ALSO HAS A RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP LEARNING
There is another side to this conversation. Because you mentored someone ten years ago does not mean you automatically know more than him today. Football changes rapidly. There are tremendous discoveries day in and day out in various areas of the game. Sports science changes; scouting changes; data analytics changes; football finance changes; digital media changes; player development changes; governance changes; technology changes.
The mentee who entered the industry ten years after you may eventually acquire knowledge that you do not possess. A wise mentor recognizes this and occasionally reverses the relationship as the mentor becomes willing to learn from the mentee. That is maturity.
LET US BUILD LEADERS, NOT LOYALISTS
Nigeria football needs more mentors at every level — Local Football Councils, State Football Associations, clubs, academies, refereeing, coaching, sports medicine, media, marketing and national administration. But, we need the right philosophy of mentorship.
Teach people everything you genuinely know and open doors wherever you can. Correct them when necessary and allow them to make mistakes. Also, introduce them to people and give them responsibilities. Challenge their thinking, celebrate their progress, and when the day comes that they disagree with you, do not immediately declare them ungrateful.
You can only give what you have. Give it generously, and then allow the mentee to add what he has to what you gave him.
That is how knowledge grows. That is how institutions develop. That is how football develops.
And ultimately, that is how a mentor achieves immortality — not by producing people who spend their lives kissing his ass, but by producing people capable of standing on their own feet.